The Thinking Game


Here’s one of the things that I’m really good at: 
thinking.
Or maybe more precisely: overthinking. 

It is a challenge to find that middle point in between the tension—of thinking too much and not thinking at all. I’ve noticed more and more, especially during this pandemic, that a lot of my own thinking and considerations have held me back from starting new projects and developing older ones. The moment an idea shows up inside my brain, it gets plucked into my thought-manufacturing process. It almost always never made it to the finished line, out into the world as an actual “product”, because I put way too many filters in between. 

“Will others approve of this idea?
“How much time should I put into this project?”
“Is this the right way to invest my time?”
“Will this get me closer to where God wants me to go?”
“But what about that book I’ve been wanting to read?”
“But I don’t know how to take good photos, so what will I post on Instagram then?”
“What if nobody reads it?”
“But how do I examine my own heart motives?”
“……………………..?”
“……………………………?”
“…………………………………….?”
 
Are you like this too? I think so many of us can identify with this feeling of inadequacy and insufficiency in the midst of constant scrutiny that probably wasn’t there to begin with. It was probably all just in our heads. But this is exactly what God has freed us from. This is exactly the pressure that God wanted to take off from our shoulders because it shouldn’t have to be this complicated. This season, regardless of how difficult and challenging it has been, our identity and our worth and our value remain unchanged. We are forever loved and wanted and chosen and called to live a life of purpose— no matter what the circumstances are, no matter what we do.

This is grace.

His grace has set us free from the pressures. The pressure to perform, to always succeed, to fulfill everyone else’s expectations, to fit a certain standard. Grace is the very thing that reminds us it’s never about fame, popularity and success. That honor means humility and greatness means service. And that our job is simply to love and share about His goodness and His faithfulness and that’s it. Life is as simple as loving God and loving others.

The battle has been won.


For me, I have to always remember that I'm not trying to overcome this from a point of defeat. This thinking game is no longer a game to win, but a game already won—so long as I hold on to His grace. If I stand, I stand in Jesus. If I fall, I fall into Jesus. And because He loves me, I am free to try and fail and try again, over and over again. 

So, what are you waiting for? That idea of yours: why not?



- Lev.



PS: here are 3 things I do that help me not get stuck in my own thinking game.

1. Spend time with God

If the God of the universe is God the Creator and He created us, and He is the One who created us for a purpose, the One who knows us before we were born and now knows us inside out all the way through, would it makes sense to go through life without Him? If He is our source, our reason, our substance, and our destiny, where else could we go to make sense of our lives? Sit with Him, talk to Him, write stuff in your journals about Him and about what He says about you. 

2. Talk to people 

Not just people, but people who love God and live a life that pursue Him. Find a group of trusted people or a mentor or two, and bounce off your ideas with them. Spar with them, invite them into your thinking process and allow them to throw away things you believe about yourself that are not true. 

3. Preach to yourself 

Sometimes we just need to stop listening to ourselves so much and begin preaching to ourselves and speaking life to ourselves. What you've learned from your mentors and best friends, what you've read in the Bible, what you've heard from God through prayers and sermons and other people - preach them all over again to yourself. Write it on a wall, put it on your phone, paste it on your bedroom door. Whatever it takes to remind you of grace and of your identity in Christ. 

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